On babies…

January 11, 2014

I like babies. They like me. We have an understanding. But most of all I like my own babies. Other kids are cure and all, but The Son was my favorite baby. Now, The Wife’s sister had a baby and the Wife finds she loves this child more than she ever thought she would. That means we’re stuck baby sitting.

I like babies. I really do. But I don’t want to spend more time with a baby necessary unless it’s my own. My own baby is more interesting to me than yours ever will be. Babies are great to hold for five minutes. Then you find you’re just staring at each other and eventually someone shits or vomits and no matter who it is, you get to clean it up. And so, I go into today with much trepidation and disdain, for we shall be babysitting.

I really do like babies. But your baby is just not interesting enough to me. I have no vested interest at all in that child. At the end of the day, he goes home and you take back over, and he doesn’t care who I am. Will not miss me. I won’t miss him, either.

Again, I really do like babies, but toddlers are more fun. You can do stuff with them. Make stuff. Play outside. Babies just kind of… sit there. Sometimes they cry for no reason, but who doesn’t?


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