after all this time…

March 28, 2013

Yesterday was rather normal. My son was here, we were playing video games, the GF was at work. It was a good weekend, overall, and the day had been good as well. Then I get the text. It wasn’t so much the text, but the picture in it.

I like tits as much as any other man, but these were strange to me. Now, anyways. They were tits I hadn’t seen in about 8 years. The were The Ex’s. They were bigger than I remembered (having an extra kid will do that I’m sure) and I liked them. A lot. Then and now.

The conversation started as witty banter and mild insults, the verbal equivalent of winks and elbow jabs, but things escalated quickly from there. Prowess came up, and I was spinning tales of oral acrobatics and stamina. Then the worst came (not what you think).

She offered me sex. She said if I ever wanted casual sex with someone who wouldn’t tell anyone, she was my woman. That she had been considering it in her newfound sexual freedom (coughslutcough) since I was tops of the list in terms of fucking last she remembered.

After 8 years she offers me sex. It was about 7 years too late, though it threw me for a loop. I was shocked, awed, and excited. I also was guilty, having a hard time coping, and wondering why. After all this time, why give me what I thought I no longer wanted now? Her timing was horrible, or great depending, since the GF had recently started a no sex til marriage born again virgin kind of thing. I’d masturbated a lot, but hadn’t real sex in weeks.

I considered it, and for that I feel like a shithead, still. But I haven’t stopped considering it. What does that make me? I have the picture on my phone still, peeking time after time at her breasts. When I spoke with her while dropping the Son off, all I could see in my head were those tits, only thoughts were of fucking her in so many ways, and it was all I could do to not make things awkward.

What does that say about me, though? It makes me question who I think I am, to a point. I would still fuck her, and I still love her. Is the rest a lie?

Suppose it depends on the next steps I take. Refuse or submit to the offer. Time shall tell, because unlike normal times, I am weak to this one.


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