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long december, new year high

January 7, 2009

That’s how it felt, anyways. With the holidays, and school vacations for my son and girlfriend, small paychecks, and extra days off it seemed to last forever. Now, almost a month has gone by without a new post from me. Because I have nothing to write about hat’s bad, and let’s face facts: It’s easier to write pain than happiness. Pain is easy to describe in ways seemingly new and original. A knife to the eye, kick to the balls, stabbing, cutting, and bleeding are all ideas we can grasp on to. A cut feels the same to everyone. But happiness? Not so easy for me, anyways. Everyone feels happy differently. But I can attempt it.

Love left, and that made me depressed again, but that didn’t last long. With each subsequent leaving of me by women, I’ve gotten more used to it. Hell I broke up with one of them last year. Well, we agreed it wasn’t working, but close enough. Now, a year later and about three months into a new relationship, I am feeling happy once more. Things are glowy. Like, normally, things are pretty gray to me. Imagine life like a big gray mass of blobs. Some are darker, tending to be nearer black, and some closer to white, but the spectrum is relatively small. Some things and people are like splashes of red and yellow and blue (also dark sometimes, but this is more like a light blue. Perhaps baby blue).

The thing is, when those colors show up, they bleed into each other, making new colors. So the grays and whites become slightly more upbeat colors, like canary yellow or navy blue. Still muted and not in focus, but a little more appealing to the eyes.

So, things are prety good, and that meabns not a lot of opinions an not a lot of things to write about.

In more fact based news: Me and Karen have not had sex, but that’s fine by me. I enjoy just being with her and feeling her warmth next to mine. My son is now 6 years old. I’m almost 29. I still work in the Kroger deli. Most things haven’t changed much. I weighed myself and was not happy about it, but it’s not too bad so I’m not worried. Could lose a few pounds, but who couldn’t? I still suck at the guitar.

Hope things are well with you all.

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2 comments

  1. So glad to see you back here.

    And your descriptions of happiness (mixed with your grays and whites) are lovely.

    Still would like to send you a postcard or two…

    Just sayin’.


  2. Nice to see you are still around man. I love your descriptions of emotion. Yes, I am still around the place…need to blog more I know but hey..Im back now so yeah. Happy new year man.



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