i’m not that great

September 23, 2008

Really. I hear often from people that know me how I’m a good person. But I’m just me. I don’t intend to be anything but, and I’m as human as the rest of you. I just want to be happy more than sad, have a little money left over on payday, see my son as much as possible, and maybe have someone to share the happiness and a hot meal with on occassion.

For as good as I’m told I am, these things seem out of reach. Do you know what that does to a person? It will either make them conceited, leading to disappointment or make them scared that they are disappointing others. In the end you only disappoint yourself and start to doubt things. Everything can feel like a failure after a while. I’m a person with a very defeatist attitude because of all that. I have goals that always seem just out of reach.

And don’t even bring up phobias.


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