want me to want more?

September 13, 2008

So, I’m being told perhaps the Universe/God/whatever is pushing me to want more. My boring want from life is to have a little extra money on paydays, see my son more, and have someone to cook for. It should be easy, but it’s not. I can’t help it I’m not greedy!

LA called last night, because apparently “looking fantastic, in a bar, after a bad/vroken date” means “Call Walin!”

Sole messaged me last night, too. It was wierd. We mostly flirted and just said a lot of nothing, but sometimes you need that.

I’m surrounded by people who seem to believe in me and want great things from me and that I’m decently attractive (at least), and I don’t know how to handle that except to be meek and say “I’m just me.” Mostly because when you have so many people saying “You can do it” that when you can’t do it you feel even shittier. It’s funny people have more faith in me than I do in myself. Life is so very rough right now. I’m just beginning to drag myself out from under the damages.

Luckily, I’m getting so much better at it.


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