h1

if you read my myspace blog, move along

July 30, 2008

You know on Star Trek how they send down the ensign first. Then that person is killed, usually vaporized by some alien or another. That’s me right now. I’m one of the Red Shirts. I’ve been beamed down to a foreign planet and got totally screwed by the Enterprise. Damn you Kirk!

Not really a good analogy for things, but I always thought that was funny. So, what’s happening with me now? Nothing much. My girlfriend left me about a week back. I’m very disappointed in that, since it seemed so great and she was, too. I’ve never been so even with someone, so of the same mind, so compatible. I am a little depressed, but I will keep going. We have still been talking nearly daily, which is nice, but I try not to say what I want to say. Things a friend doesn’t say to a friend. I don’t want to be that guy anyways. Nobody likes that guy.

The car is gone, but the bus is pretty dependable. I don’t like the loss of freedom, mostly. I no longer can go wherever I like when I like to. I have to plan, and I fail hard at planning.

Still at Kroger. It still sucks, but it mostly pays the bills.

Parker is smart as ever and preparing for school. It’s crazy to think he’s doing that. It makes me happy for him, because he’s excited about going, but it makes me sad too. I guess that’s the nature of the beast, watching your children grow and mature. He’s only five, but it seems like everything’s been just the way it is forever. I hate how time works. I am hopefully getting the day off for his school’s Open House and then his first day as well. This is a big deal! I will call in to work both days if my request is not fulfilled. I do my best to put people I care about first, and he’s tops on that list. I can’t always do everything I want, or others want me to, but I do what I can. While I can’t support moneywise very much I will simple be there. I think that’s most important for him.

The music continues to be spewed forth from my guitar, but let’s face facts. I will never be a real musician. It’s a fun way to pass time, and nothing more. Such is life.

And that’s what’s going on here. I am in a rut, but I think one good day of depression will help things along. I mean the whole listen to sad music, watch a sad movie, and possibly shed a few tears of frustration myself. Get it all out at once, ya?

Just need to find direction again. I always say I’m lost, but I never feel like that’s permanent.

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