snow falls, roads are icy, and i still have to work

March 10, 2008

Here in Louisville we received at least a foot of snow in most places. Roads were horrible, because as I’ve mentioned before the city forgets how to clean the shit up every year. Even with  afew days notice they can’t seem to be very ready. Many things were closed Friday night and on through Sunday morning. I’m sure on the news they were saying ‘Stay home! It isn’t safe to drive!’ And yet, I was at work both Friday and Saturday. Even in a fucking snowstorm, the likes of which we apparently haven’t seen her for 20 years or so, I HAVE TO WORK. And it’s because I’m a decent person, too. Because I don’t want to leave people hanging, despite the fact they wouldn’t do the same for me.

I don’t know why I continue to do such things. I have told people before that ‘the definition of madness is repeating the same action time and again, but expecting different results’ which is exactly what I do. On top of that, I’m tired folks. Dead tired. Exhausted. Barely awake. Not sleeping well. If I look bad today just multiply that by 10 and you’ll see how bad I really feel.

I also have to move, and I don’t have time to pack. We get  the apartment this Friday, and I’m not even close to moving. I have to be out by the end of the month, which is about half over. I don’t have time to pack. People have asked how this can be, when I have two off days a week. Did I mention I’m tired? And my son will be with me, so that makes it more difficult to actually pack things up. Did I mention I’m tired? My off days consist of only 8-9 hours of work, instead of 12 or more. Did I mention I’m tired? I get 5-6 hours sleep a night if I’m lucky, and I’ve had two nights with 3 hours of sleep in the last three days. Did I fucking mention I’m tired? You never get used to exhaustion, let me tell you.

I’m wearing down, now. Thinking about all of the above this morning I nearly broke. I need some more good, now, please. My bad karma is instant, but the good never seems to come back. Just a little would be nice. A real day off, maybe. Actually seeing Christy. Any number of things, but mainly sleep and a real day off.


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