a funny thing happened on the way to the vagina

February 18, 2008

So, Christy’s over and things begin to get handsy, hot, and heavy. Pants come off and I rush to find a condom. Medicine cabinet is opened, linen closet, and after a frantic moment I find them. I tear one off the strip and begin to open when a thought occurs to me. ‘It’s been a while. I should check this first.’

Slowly I turn over the package and am horrified to find an expiration date already past. With a stifled yelp I do the math and realise how long it’s been since I last got laid. The things expired 08/2006. The plan has been foiled, but being the gentleman that I am I cannot let her leave without being satisfied. Twice. If there’s one thing I can say with President Bush-like certainty it’s that I am GREAT at oral sex. Christy now agrees, as have all who’ve had the pleasure.

After work later she came back by, but I had the foresight to stop by Walgreens on my way home. Things went much smoother, to the satisfaction of all involved.



  1. you shut your whore mouth

  2. I was gonna say ‘That’s what she said’ but she was speechless at the time.

    You’re just jealous, cause I got a perty mouf.

  3. Way too much information. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am really happy for you…but I don’t want to hear about that stuff from anyone.


  4. I like to boast, and you have to admit that’s one thing I am awesome at.

  5. I read this, and then just slapped my forehead.

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