h1

relationships = financial markets

February 14, 2008

I honestly feel Valentine’s Day is a crock, but it’s a great opportunity to stockpile puppy points to cash in after a later fuck up. I am attempting to inflate my stock price so the majority holder and chairman of the board doesn’t decide to jump ship and dump stock at  the first sign of a drop.

Pleasing shareholders is the top priority of any publicly held corporation. That means taking care of investors by keeping stock prices high so they continually reinvest funding, thereby making it less desirable to leave. Sometimes you have to send out a nice press release to bolster confidence. And let’s not forget paying your dividend every now and again.

I’m pretty sure I caused a major jump of several points today. This will extend into tomorrow when we do lunch and I show examples of the benefits associated with continued investment. The benefits are mutual, of course, so it’s in my best interest as well because her investment mainly consists of bewbage. She is supplying my demand, and to keep that supply from drying up I have to reciprocate with whatever she demands.

Simple economics, really.

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4 comments

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    PWNED!


  2. bewbs > all

    Wait… is that spam?


  3. um,….

    lol


  4. Well…I feel kinda jipped with my roses and chocolates lol. Figuring out a relationship using economics…original idea. I found the entire thing amusing in a really sweet way. Keep it up wailin.



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