h1

stone’s throw from crazy

December 11, 2007

That’s how I feel today. Yesterday was filled with panic and depression until I got to Kroger, where suddenly I’m hyper, anxious, and frankly damned entertaining. The ups and downs are too fast.

Josy, you asked if I was doing better last night. Yes and no. Feeling better, but quite honestly concerned I’m actually losing my grip on things. Men in white coats and wielding buterfly nets seem to be closing in. I know this shit runs in my family, too. I never thought about it until the ex, several years back, brought it up. Even then I was unconcerned, but now is a different story.

I know self diagnosis is bad, especially when reading symptoms makes it seem you have them all, but I think I’m on the right track about all of this. Of course it’s all always been there, but it didn’t cause problems except for the last few years. Now, this chick I’ve been chatting with wants to meet up for drinks or a bite to eat and I know I will only disappoint in person.

I want a personal relationship but I’m so worried I will fuck it up I can’t make it happen. I almost don’t want to because of that. At least the blog’s a little more interesting, amirite?

And the chick is someone from the interwebs, yes. Details? Sure. She’s 30, seems pretty funny, creative, and is cute. She’s also short. Like 5’2 short. Meh. What have I got to lose? Nothing. What do I have to gain? Vaginal intercourse. Oh, and maybe some semblance of a real relationship with someone that’s actually accessible. She does have a child, and while it’s hypocritical, I’m not sure how I feel about that. But he’s older, too, so that makes a difference. Meh. Worry when I have to about that, I suppose.

So I’m going crazy faster every day, and a chick wants to meet up sometime. Ain’t life grand? I see the lemons and sugar, but how the fuck can I turn this to lemonade? I like Pink lemonade better anyways, so what do I do to make that?

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2 comments

  1. 1. Make yourself an appointment with your doctor. Tell the person scheduling the appointment that you need to discuss stress/anxiety. I tell you to do this so that they schedule you a nice time slot, not some quicky 5 minute thing. GO TO THE APPOINTMENT. Bring with you a list of all your symptoms, and if the nurse looks at you weird, tell them your friend who is a nurse told you to do it. The nurse make think you are weird but the doctor will appreciate it.

    2. Meet the chick jeez! So what if she had a kid, so do you. Most people our age are not on their first committed relationship, so if you are looking for someone with no baggage, you are going to have to go the slightly creep route.

    3. Don’t worry if you are somewhat crazy, most interesting and worthwhile people are some crazy. Just get to the MD and get some meds to help you keep the swings less extreme.

    4. That will be $100 please.


  2. Josy, I’m still next in line when Dan fucks it up right?

    I am trying to get in touch with someone. I called a few several times today and got no answer. Was very annoying. Far as the chick, I will go. I was informed by Sarah, the hot bi chick that sits in front of me at work, that I should get a haircut first, too.

    Now, go make a strong baby son whom you shall name Walin in my honor.



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