November 29, 2007

So, when I was growing up I was spanked. My son, when it is warranted, gets spanked (luckily he’s a great kid and rarely needs it). There’s not a fine line between spanking and abusing a child. There’s a big fucking sign that reads “This is the line. You are crossing it”.

The fact is, I choose how to discipline my son. And yet, the MD legislature is trying to tell residents there they cannot spank their children. So, the state knows how to raise children? I mean, it must be true since the foster home system produces so many outstanding citizens. I’m sure every single one of them has experience with all out children, on a personal level, because they obviously know what is best for them all.

The thing is, most people who think spanking is abuse are people who HAVE NO KIDS. And those people are fucking idiots. I’ve been doing this for almost five years, and yet you know better than me?

Here’s a story about one incident. My son is the most important thing to me, and when he misbehaves for the ex I have to help teach him somehow. That somehow one time was telling him ‘If you do this again, you won’t be able to come see me.” And it killed me to say that. Seeing him is the highlight of any day, week, and right now my life in general. I didn’t want to not see him. I told him that because it’s important enough to both of us that it may cange the behavior.

I spoke with a coworker about this, and she tells me how terrible that is and it will mess him up, because he will somehow think I don’t love him. This coming from someone who has no children, but thinks being in a relationship with a guy for one year who had a child (older than my son by years mind you) makes her know more than me.

I say to MD what I said to her. Piss off. Every child is different, and must be treated as such. My son has not, to my knowledge, repeated the action referred to. So that means I was right to tell him that. He also knows I love him very much, so I guess that means he will not be screwed up because of one thing. Honestly, I hate punishing him in any way, but I do what I must to get the message through.

So if you live in MD, tell them to quit trying to tell me how to raise my children. This sets a dangerous norm of government interfering in our private lives too much. Once that starts it will be hard to stop. And let’s face it, do we really want those fucking retards to make child rearing decisions for us?



  1. Don’t you mean Massachusetts and not Maryland??

  2. Meh. In the end, it doesn’t matter because I don’t live there. Just a ridiculous attempt by lawmakers to impose personal beliefs on people who probably don’t share them.

  3. This reminded me of how people were saying that the Cleveland Indians were promoting Native American stereotypes, and how it was an outrage. Even though most Native Americans never looked at the team name twice.

  4. White people get more upset about offenses against minorities than the people supposedly targeted. Go figure.

    Kill WHITEY!

  5. I agree with you Walin, just one thing… I’d like to see the actual wording of the law. Some people are so fucking stupid they don’t deserve kids. I’m wondering if it’s one of those things like “Don’t hit the child with a baseball bat” or “do not strike the child on the stomach”

  6. The news has a habit of making things sound worse or more strict than they are. But I’d say it’s likely this mean all forms of hitting a child under the age of 18 by the parent, all the way from spanking to actual abuse. I haven’t read much into it, to be honest, because it’s not in my state.

  7. Personally, I would never, ever hit Alyson. I rarely even yell at her. When you hit your child it makes you feel better, not them. Any animal can be disciplined with pain. Hitting is easier but not more effective. Children are intelligent, if irrational. If no other punishment is working then your child is probably retarded. In that case, I fully endorse beating retarded children. I got the shit beat out of me and the only thing it did was help me learn to take a punch.

    I do agree though that it shouldn’t be made a law.

  8. My husband and I have decided not to spank Felix Rose (she’s a girl btw, not a boy as you say in your email). This is more as a precaution against it becoming an easy solution. If we both know it’s prohibited and the other person would disapprove then we can self-censor our behaviour more easily.
    If she turns out to be difficult in some way and needing that kind of discipline then we have decided to set down rules for when spanking is appropriate. That way we can be consistent for her. Part of the reason for this is because I don’t want to end up spanking in anger or frustration because that will just teach her to lash out – rather than modifying the behavior. I was spanked and I learned pretty damn quick what I should do. But when my mom had my little brother (14 years my junior) she would spank him in anger and I hated seeing it. I never want to be like that.
    I can’t say we’ll follow our own rules completely but we’re at least conscious of how and when to use spanking.
    As for telling your son he might not be able to come visit – that’s probably ok but I don’t know the context or what he did. I’m not sure if you want to make his time with you something that can be taken away like that – it’s not really like it should be a special treat for him. You should be there no matter what. But if you mean it like – ‘You won’t be able to see me next weekend’ or whatever, rather than never again, then it’s like grounding him for a short amount of time. As long as he knows you will be there for him and you’re not removing yourself. Still, if he is grounded he can be grounded with you too – spending time at your place but you don’t take him out or do whatever you had planned to do because he’s in trouble.

  9. Aye, it was more like grounding than anything. Not a permanent not going to see me. That would destroy both of us.

    All children are different, in the end. Some, like my son, respond well to words. Some do not. And some just need to be choked a little. Not a lot, just a little bit. Then again, I’d like to choke their parents too.

    And it took forever and a day, but I just figured out who you are… I’m a little slow sometimes. >.<

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