probably tmi, and will piss the ex off… more

August 16, 2007

So I wrote a bunch of crap about last night’s events and deleted it. Getting it out was enough. Such is life. Same shit, new day, in the end. I didn’t sleep well at all last night because of it, if it helps.

We can discuss it later and maybe you’ll apologize too, because it takes two and you can be as hurtful as me. You also don’t understand how I feel like I’m fighting to be my son’s father. I have to keep you both happy, and that’s tough to do if I’m not. I’m taking a second job soon and will not see him anywhere near as much. What happens then? When do I become just (Wailin)? Would you let that happen too? If that happens, do I have a right to complain then or is it being selfish?

These are things I worry about. As immature as it may sound to you and others, Daddy is all I have and I don’t want anyone else to be called that by our son. Fiance can be Daddy (fiance), and that’s fine. But I don’t want to be Daddy (Wailin), just daddy. I don’t think you’ll ever understand, though.



  1. You think I should apologize, huh? Let’s see, I was completely honest with you without stooping as low as possible to hurt you. Meanwhile, you told me that my dad never loved me and acted like I was the selfish one because of it. You can be so ignorant sometimes!

    It’s a shame you didn’t sleep well, maybe now you can be a bigger dick than you were yesterday. You brought back things in my mind that I have been working on getting rid of for years. And to add to that, you all but begged for my fiance to cheat on me so that I could someday hurt the way that you do. But no…you’re not immature in the least, are ya?

    A mature adult…moreso, a good father, would want to be the best dad he could be regardless of how much time or money he has for his child. That is all I have ever asked of you and you know it.

    You can tell our 4 year old son petty, rude things and try to make my fiance look bad. OR…you can be a stand up dad, a good man, and a loving person all together and make my fiance look bad. If you choose the first, you hurt yourself and your relationship with our son. Resentment will be the only thing to happen in the end. If you choose the latter, respect and love will be plentiful from all sides. You are a rather intellegent person, how do you not realize this?

    It’s been almost 3 years since we broke up…I think it’s high time you get over some stupid crap and start acting right. You reep what you sow…you better make damn sure you sow good things.

    Karma can be a bitch! Watch yourself.

  2. And nothing I say ever changes anything, so why bother?

  3. Nope, nothing you say ever changes anything because you are always saying the same old thing. Climb that hill and get over it.

    I’m so sick and freakin’ tired of your ‘Poor me, I lost my tail again’ bullshit. I have never in my life known anyone as whiney and self-absorbed as you. Do you think you are the only one who has bad days? Do you think everyone else has the perfect life? The grass is NOT always greener on the other side. Get a clue!

    I work my ass off with everything in my life and I love it! That doesn’t mean that my life is easy or anywhere close to perfect, but I feel blessed with what I have. I don’t have time to play house…I’m too busy living my life to engage in some fantasy world. You on the other hand…

  4. You always miss the point. I open up, explain exactly why I feel that way, and you just blast away at me. But I guess you have the right.

  5. Also, you could just call me. Would be much more convenient.

  6. I don’t want to talk to you…

  7. You two are starting to act like two other exes and a so called fiancee I am close to in life. As tempting as it is to go for the jugular everytime (because trust me, it is) it is not necessary. The child is the only one who suffers and that sucks the most …and yes, I am a little one-sided…but I feel for the other side as well. I’m sure I’ll get a new asshole for this comment, but that is what these blog things are for, right>?

  8. Nah. This is old news. Just waiting for her to quit being pissed. Not that I had time to see our son so far this week.

    It’s also more like this. Ex goes for a finger, the eyeball, big toe, and that big blue vein in the crook of you felbow. Ultimately, she’s not viscious enough to go for a major artery. That’s her way. My way is fuck all and go straight for jugular when all the little cuts finally add up to mean something. Either way, damage is done.

    The big problem with her is that she stays angry forever, whereas I’m fine damned near immediately because it’s not worth it to stay angry. And I don’t ever get an apology. Go figure. But those are just differences in personality and character. WHat would be more productive is commenting on my musical. Nobody ever comments on the things I really want them to. 😦

  9. That is not the “ex” I know, but you hve known her for much longer I guess. She likes to resolve things quickly and make nice again. Well, at least that has been my experience in the past with her. Maybe her and I should be lesbian lovers! Then, The kid would have 2 mommies in one house! I’m always full of resolutions. I will read your misucals when i get back from step class!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m afraid if I get into it, I will be late, then I’ll never go, then I’ll be stuck working out here because the class schedule does not have a class I like until 5:30…at that time, I’ll be at my 2nd favorite place (the fair- first place/time is anything Christmas love love love) watching my stepdaughter sing. So, I must refrain from reADing until after 12:00….while I’m rambling, I would read it while I’m in line at J-town elementary picking up my “ex” step daughter, but my car does not have wireless, so that would be impossible. Instead, I will pick some trashy magazine (which I love) and I will read about how fat I am and how skinny I could be…all the while bitching about how hard I worked in step class. I think I should start one of these blog things.

  10. Blogging is very therapeutic. Given, allowing the ex access may have been poorly planned, but no going back now. What’s the point of a blog if nobody but you reads it, after all? Also, I fixed your first comment and deleted the latter. You’re welcome. 😛

    Yeah, I’ve known her longer, but I doubt anything between you two has been quite this serious. She only stays mad at me for long periods, but usually it is something serious. I maintain she’s nice to everyone but me, though. Seems I know several people like that.

    The musical is short so far. Just one act and crappy song. Hopefully I can get it along though. Just for shits and giggles. It saddens me nobody reads that blog, since it’s my favorite.

  11. Alright. Enough is enough. 20/20 is right. Your son is the one who will end up suffering. I know wailin doesnt want that…do you? Im sorry I would use your name if I knew it. Seem so impersonal to just call you the ex. I am going through the same thing with my ex. My kids are so screwed up that every other day they tell me they hate me. You dont want to have your son tell you that because it rips you apart so much you cry yourself to sleep over it every night. You both need to do only what is right for your son. He is the innocent in all this. Will you punish him for your adult issues that really dont involve him. How do you think he feels knowing mummy and daddy dont like each other and a fighting? Trust me he will know. Kids have a habit of blaming themselves when the parents are set at each others throats all the time. You guys need to be friendly around him. But airing this in a public forum is not that way to go. Wailin can write whatever he wants to, it is his blog. However, he doesnt need to be attacked like this for putting his thought on paper so to speak. Attack me if you want, but leave him out of it.

  12. Appreciate the defense there, but I don’t mind. Better to be arguing here on the interwebs than in person. This was just the argument we were having extended some.

    Things are hardly ever this bad between us, but sometimes shit happens. Much as we try to avoid it.

  13. I do what I can for my friends.

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