“who’s calling at this time of night?”

August 10, 2007

About 10 last night my phone rang. I thought it was Scott since he said he needed to talk to me and had missed my call. It was LA.

I didn’t answer. It’s actually the first time I’ve ever intentionally not answered the phone when she called.



  1. To reply to your IM (and to this):

    Yeah, it probably was the best idea. No doubt it would have drudged up a lot more heartache and made no progress toward any sort of relationship between you two. If it’s truly life-changing or important, she’ll call back. That being said, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

    Although not as well as you, I know LA. We’re quite a bit alike. But it seems she’s fallen into that whole “user” trap. She isn’t prepared for or doesn’t want a relationship with you but she’s willing to stomp on your heart (and balls, sup?) when she needs a little Dr. Phil. Its a bad place to go to and an even worse place to live. I’m sure you’ve told her that you don’t appreciate the position she repeatedly puts you in (right? RIGHT?). Its quite lame for her to ask so much and give so little. Eventually she’ll take so much that you’ll start to resent her – assuming that hasn’t already started happening.

    Saving yourself from some intense confusion isn’t a bad thing. Just try not to dwell on it. If you decide to ask yourself “What if?” let me answer for you by saying – “Herpes.”. Its always herpes.

    Also if you keep making good decisions about your emotional life like this you’re never going to surpass me in emoness. You have much left to learn, my child.

  2. There’s always a ‘What if..” involved. But I’ve let go, and that will continue if I can help it. I will probably answer the next time, because it is likely important at that point, at least to her.

    I just feel like I’m abandoning, when it’s obvious I was abandoned. It was probably a dialing error anyways, since she didn’t even leave a message.

    And nobody will ever be as emo as you, pal. i wuv u!

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