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little black book

July 11, 2007

Deborah Palfry, the DC Madam, had a fine little whorehouse (all reports tell me so, but I’ve never been myself) that catered to rather high powered clientele. Actually, she probably had a few senators but the rest were simply your average guy. Senator David Vitter, upon being ousted as a client of Ms Palfry, was quick to hold a press conference. He gets his support from the right wing “moral majority”, and won his seat by fighting to “protect family values (and possibly the sanctity of marriage)”, which is quite ironic. Though he did announce in his press conference he had been forgiven by “his wife and god” a long time ago. A tads pretentious, you ask me, to assume God forgave your marital infidelities. Then again, he could always go to rehab and things would be set straight right away.

Yes, rehab for straying from his wife’s bed. I bet you thought this was going to be about politics and bashing the far right and their representatives, pointing out hypocrisy and heresay, and other various words that escape my mind for the moment but are nonetheless just as inflammatory. No, this is about rehab.

You can get into rehab for anything. Britney Spears was in rehab for pure crazy. Michael Richards went to rehab for racism. Mel Gibson went for being an anti-Semite (well, the guy was a drunk but really none cared until he spouted “I hate Jews!” while being pulled over for it). The guy from Gray’s Anatomy may have for homophobia, and while I can’t remember if that’s correct I am sure he could if he so chose to. Given all of that, why couldn’t Vitter go because he’s a shitty husband who cheated on his wife and paid for it (which makes it slimier in my book for some reason).

Rehab is for famous people who need to look good to the public. Honestly, who the hell are they fooling with this crap? You can go to rehab for addictions, sure, but a month in a facility isn’t going to make you less racist. Don Imus may be a little bit racist, but at least he’s honest about it, addressed the issue, and didn’t just try to run from the problem.

In more celebrity justice ranting, what about Lindsay Lohan?
Crashed while obviously drunk = not arrested
Blood tests prove she was drunk and find cocaine as well = can stay out of jail, and never set foot in a courtroom.
She is a repeat offender = her license wasn’t taken and she is not subjected to any repeat offender punishments, though I’m sure her insurance fees are outrageous.
What does she do? Enters motherfucking rehab. There’s a rehab facility for poor people too, though it has a different name. It’s called fucking jail.

So the next time I do something really stupid, immoral, and possibly illegal perhaps I’ll tell the person I’ve offender I’ll go to rehab. I mean, it worked for everyone else, right? Maybe I already can since I can’t always pay my bills. I must be addicted to laziness. Think that will cut it?

The sad thing is that after they do things seem to be okay. It’s like going to rehab for even the most ridiculous thing makes people forget. Perhaps it’s just that the news no longer cares and doesn’t report moreso than people thinking it’s okay. It can be hard to tell sometimes. I know partially I’m just in a crap mood because I again slept poorly and couldn’t finish any coffee. I did have an interesting dream about being stranded in Tokyo though.

There were ninjas, but no Godzilla. I was a little sad about that.

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