h1

she doesn’t need me

May 24, 2007

The ex doesn’t need me for anything. Nothing at all. She’d be just as content if I was MIA, I’m sure, maybe even happier. How do I know? It comes down to bread.

We all know I bake bread. The ex loves the bread. I like to share. I was planning on making it for her regularly. She asked for the recipe. It’s another thing I can point at and say “You don’t need me anymore.” Sure, it’s been a long time since she really needed me, but it still hurts a little.

I’m one of those people that finds my worth in how others see me. It’s why LA meant so much to me, though now I question my feelings about her. That’s another post all together. The ex liking and wanting my bread made me feel liked and wanted. If she bakes it herself, then where do I stand? It’s silly, I know, and she wouldn’t understand it or even try to get it. I feel silly myself because of it.

The change in shift has changed my life in more positive ways than I could have predicted. Even now I’m not sad about this, just wistful and longing. Which is fine. It’s just nice to feel like someone needs and wants something from you that is something as simple as a loaf of homemade bread. Like the bread itself, it’s a warm feeling and something to smile about. I guess that’s done now, though.

I’m doing okay, though. Just wanting someone to share my newfound good moods with.

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