losing momentum

April 22, 2007

Imagine this, if you will. Your life is the weight on the end of a pendulum. You live according to the momentum. Your life swings back and forth on the arc to a speed set long ago at your birth. But sometimes disturbances happen. It can speed up or slow down.

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The momentum is need in various states. In times of pressure we need things to move along swiftly and smoothly, and others we don’t need to waste the speed we might need at another time. This is not to say when it stops swinging you die. A stopped pendulum can get moving again with a slight push, after all. It’s about energy and motivation.

I’m losing that momentum again, I think. Things have slowed drastically. I haven’t been to dance classes in a while. I play just as much World of Warcraft. My house is a mess right now. I wasn’t even able to force myself to wear pants and step outside my apartment for at least a day. I’ve lost motivation again.

My pendulum seems to be erratic at best. It will swing furiously for short moments, then stop for long periods. I’m not sure what to do. I was lonely this weekend. Thinking about LA again. Missing LA. Missing the feeling of someone else in my bed. Just one of those weekends I guess. Hate not knowing how to fix things though.

Never lose momentum if you can help it.


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