what do i want in a woman

March 1, 2007

I am facing myself off with this question now. We all have a general idea of what we want, but mostly it’s unconcious. There’s general ideas, such as pretty, smart, funny… that kind of stuff. But what does it really mean? Did I run down a checklist with my ex when we met? No. What about LA? Nope. My fuckbuddy? Well… yeah, but it was a short list of only “Must want only sex.”

I know now what I want. I want my ex, LA, and FB all rolled into one woman. There are qualities from all of them that I liked a lot. FB is easy to pinpoint. Must be as horny as me. Not an easy thing to do for some.

My ex is a very loving person (yes I know you read this, and no I’m not stroking your ego). I felt her love for me, and never questioned it. It was good, and what I needed. She pushed me to be better than I was, and pushes to be better than I am now. She is the most supportive person I’ve ever had in my life. I told her today “Thank you. You’re the one person I know I can call any time, and you will pick up the phone. That means a lot to me. Thank you.” And I gave her a hug. The temptation to grope was there, but I have thus far managed to avoid it. Hold on.. something in my eye… need a second here… It’s the same for her, if she feels she needs someone at 3 in the morning. So that’s the best thing about my ex, was the supportiveness she gave, and still gives me, despite all the horrible things I’ve been and said and done in my life. I tried my best to show that you were, and still are, beautiful to me, no matter what. I just wish i could have done better.

LA did the same when I needed it most, but what she really had was passion. She didn’t just want me she desired me in a way I’ve never known. Physically, her entire being was mine for the taking. I felt sexy, for the first time in a long time. And I felt lucky, because she was smart and beautiful, and the fact she could provide a nice financial life eventually sure didn’t hurt things. The Passion was the driving force there, though. It was, in the end, all we had in common for each other. It’s not enough on it’s own.

Physically? I’m not narcissistic to the point of being unreal about my looks. I do think I’m okay. Not the most good looking nor the worst. I have my issues, physically, and I need someone similar. Height doesn’t much matter, except where midgets are concerned. I just can’t see myself being turned on sexually by midgets. I suppose you never know, but still.

Hair? I don’t care. in the end it doesn’t matter, but I find myself most drawn to dark hair, especially really naturally curly hair. I dated a chick I work with a couple times a few years back. I think that started the curls attraction. She was much shorter than me, had a nice rack, and her hair was long blonde and naturally tighly curled.

Let’s face it, I’m not stupid, and neither are you. No fat chicks. I’m sorry, but no. Your personality may be awesome and I’m sure you have many desirable qualities, but to begin with you need a physical attraction. Now you ask, what’s fat? I don’t mind a woman with meat on her bones. LA was a big girl, being taller and just generally bigger structured. That was great. My ex had a better ass though. But I’m straying from the point. It’s hard to say, honestly. I have seen some cute women who are a bitt bigger. Let’s just say average, if you’re 5’5 and around 140, you’re in the safe zone. If you’re 5’5 and 240? Sorry, no such luck.

“What about you you smug bastard?! Probably a fat guy that wants a smaller chick than your own fat ass, Fatty McFatcakes!” I’m about 5’11 and around 170. I have more of a gut than I’m happy with, honestly. I’m working on that.

Mentally? Woooh! This is the big one. This is the last round here. If I’m physically attracted, and you are to me, then this is what decides the rest. I have dealt with trust issues, abandonment fears, hate for men, low self esteem, fear of committment, chronic liars, and selfishness. You don’t make demands on me, and I won’t make any. You trust me, and I’ll trust you. I will not leave you just because I can, and the fact your ex or father did doesn’t mean I will too. If you hate men, why are you talking to me still? You have low self esteem, and that’s okay, but I can only do what I can to help, so get pissed when I stop complimenting you because every time I do you never believe it. You don’t want committment, hey that’s cool… for now. Eventually you better, because I’m not the sharing type of guy. I catch you in three lies, you’re out of the game, sweetheart. Selfishness is the demanding I suppose. You have the right to expect things, but when those expectations become a problem for me I will let you know and make some of my own.

This isn’t rocket science ladies. You treat people how you want to be treated. Nuff said. You do that and we can have a wonderful time. Promise.

PS Big boobs won’t help you out much. I like all boobs, as long as they’re fun to play with and you don’t mind tittie twisters.


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